Who am I? This is a question that I am asking myself today as so many others have been asking me lately. Who do I think I am? There are so many aspects of me that I am now learning as a result of the pandemic. I have to answer that question for me first before I can answer the question for anyone else. There are days that I see this aspiring industrious individual [me] with ideas and so much creativity and then at other times I feel so unworthy of who I am and I believe and sometimes do not believe that I am capable of. I scare me at times as well. Bipolar, ADHD, PMS, Angry Black Woman, Creative, Autistic, Loving, Special, Patient, Tenacious, Quick, Slow, Overthinking, Emptyheaded, Forgetful, GodSend, Brilliant, Beautiful, Fat, Ugly, Old, Young, Bitch, Voluptuous, Big Boned and the list goes on. These are all the names that I have been called as have some of you maybe. But as is said, ‘beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.’ Whether it is I myself beholding or someone else, it’s quite possible that all of these names describe me all at the same time. But I do love me. All of the Many of me.
My personality is just consistently versatile. That’s all. Can I be happy all the time? Positive all the time? NO!! Because that’s not me.
That’s not anyone who is telling the truth. Some people can smile in your face in the guise of positivity while simultaneously setting you up for a trap and will tell you you’re being negative for not seeing their smile even as you see their knife. Emotions were created as a form of communication, so I have to express myself.
Well sometimes things can be so overwhelming that I really can’t express them the way I prefer and it will only come out as art. And yet still sometimes I feel so much positivity and inspiration that all I can do is write. Even with whatever the que is, I love all of it. It’s great reading for some. If you like drama, then hit me up when someone has pissed me off. If you like inspiration, then keep tabs on me when I’m loving life and want to express ‘what that love’ is in the moment.
Maybe I had a bad dream, or a good dream with a cool but odd item or symbol that I may want to paint as a picture. That’s some hot ish! And to think that it’s all derived from these emotions that I have...or these various aspects of personality that I appear to have grown into. I love it!
All of the many of me.